If the idea of talking openly about your sexual preferences or sexual problems fills you with dread, or at best, an uneasy sense of awkwardness and embarrassment, fear not, you’re not alone! Sexuality is incredibly personal and we naturally feel vulnerable when revealing issues we’re experiencing in this part of our lives. It’s not uncommon for people who are experiencing sexual problems to suffer in silence for many years for this very reason, and so it’s important to know that many sexual complications can be completely resolved or helped in therapy. It goes without saying however that certain sexual issues have a medical basis and you should always consult your primary physician before embarking on therapeutic alternatives.
"Sex feels like a bodily experience and sometimes people wonder how on earth therapy could possibly help. The fact is however that your brain is the major sexual organ, not your genitals!"
Sex feels like a bodily experience and sometimes people wonder how on earth therapy could possibly help. The fact is however that your brain is the major sexual organ, not your genitals! Your brain and body operate through a complex feedback system known as bottom-up / top-down control. For more information about this I invite you to check out my Sequential Psychotherapy website which explains this system in a simple, easy to understand way.
Culturally the subject of sexuality is shrouded in guilt, shame, and secrecy. It doesn’t help that society offers many conflicting ideas about sex that can leave most feeling insecure. One of the biggest questions people often want to ask, but feel ashamed to ask is, “Am I normal?”
"One of the biggest questions people often want to ask, but feel ashamed to ask is, “Am I normal?”"
It’s an interesting question, not least because our sexual tastes and the kinds of problems we can experience are highly personal and unique. I often think of sexuality as being like a fingerprint. We all have one and they all look very similar, yet everyone’s fingerprint is different.
One of the big hurdles people experience when it comes to addressing sexual problems is that we tend to equate sex with our true identity. In fact sex is but a small part of a much more complex process that makes up our identity, and this way of thinking can leave you questioning yourself and feeling alienated, ashamed, unlovable or even like a failure. For example, a man experiencing erectile dysfunction might equate this with not being ‘man’ enough. A woman experiencing vaginismus (involuntary vaginal muscle contractions) might equate it with being ‘broken’ in some way. Someone experiencing a fetish might equate it with being ‘disturbed’.
The way we perceive things however, and the way we process them, is all about the kind of life experiences and relationships we’ve had, and doesn’t necessarily equate to the true nature of the problem. For this reason sufferers of sexual problems often experience low self-esteem, depression, or social anxiety. All of which typically lead to a worsening of symptoms and an increase in your fear of seeking help.
Allow me to reassure you that help is at hand, and that here at The Bristol Psychotherapy & Hypnotherapy Clinic sexual problems are dealt with in a relaxed, friendly, non-judgemental and entirely non-Victorian way! As a therapist who has experience helping numerous individuals overcome their sexual difficulties I aim to make your experience as comfortable and rewarding as it can be.
Certain sexual issues may not fall under these categories so please get in touch if you have any question or if you would like to book a free initial consultation to discuss your situation in privacy and comfort.
More often than not sexual problems can be completely resolved or helped when the appropriate treatment is used. If you're struggling with a sexual issue why not get in touch to book your FREE initial consultation and join me at The Bristol Psychotherapy & Hypnotherapy Clinic or online via Skype for a confidential friendly chat about what's been happening.
Hey Seb, I'm happy to tell you I've had no problems "getting down to business" of late ;-) What's more, I feel like a more adjusted person than previously - your teachings have been very helpful through life's little challenges in general and definitely helps keep things in perspective!
J.G. - Erectile Dysfunction